Expatriette: Lost. On Purpose.

But seriously.  I’ll be back to Expatriette.com full time in 2008.  In the meantime, I’m editing Expatriette, the novel/girl’s guide to mod travel (due out in winter 2008).  And reading lots of travel blogs.  My current favorite:  Jetlagged:  Navigating the Unfriendly Skies.  A close runner-up is Patrick Smith’s Ask the Pilot, which makes me snort or giggle every time I read it.  Read it for his humor and fresh perspective on air travel.  A pilot friend has assured me it’s “pretty much spot on.”

Thank you for all of the friendly emails recently (most of them reminding me what an awesome resource Expatriette is)!  I’ll be back to a regular posting schedule in the New Year and invite anyone interested in writing a column on a regular basis to contact me at info {at} expatriette {dot} com.

 Best wishes for a wonderful, travel-savvy holiday season!

My grandmother, when she drops me off at the airport, tries to get me there no less than two hours before the plane departs. And that’s for a flight in the Continental United States. I travel with carry-on, which makes it even more difficult to understand. I’ve attempted, several times, to tell her that technically, I only need to get to the airport 15 minutes before departure if I’m not checking anything. She’ll hear nothing of it. We inevitably leave the house around 4:30 am for a 7:30 flight.

People call me the Master Packer but I think it’s because when I look at my luggage and start packing, I am considering it through the eyes of the TSA. Rather than fight the system, bemoaning the lengthy lines and “stupid” security measures, I work with them. This is how. Continue reading →

More than three million people have viewed the YouTube video of Miss South Carolina’s response to her question at the Miss Teen USA pageant. Several million more, including Jay Leno, have taken pot shots at her for being either blond, South Carolinian, a “trophy-wife-to-be” or a combination of all three. These criticisms ignore the fact that she was responding to the statement that more than a fifth of American’s can’t locate America on a world map. Let’s get a closer look at that statement.

One out of every five Americans can’t identify their own country on a map. What’s going on here? Rather than add to the chorus of voices heckling Ms Upton, how about we have a serious conversation concerning why one out of five Americans can’t locate the United States on a world map.

I think this is a brilliant example of ignoring the elephant in the room with you. If one out of five of us can’t identify America on a world map, why can’t we? If some of us can’t identify America, is it safe to assume even fewer could identify Sweden or Thailand? And is it because geography bores us or because we’re poorly educated? Or is it something even more insidious than that?

When I returned to the States after having been out of the country for nearly four years I was alarmed to discover that the airport was operating at “Code Orange.” And that we had heightened security, real danger and an imminent attack looming–it could happen any moment. Shit, I thought to myself, I got to get out of this place! America’s a target and somebody’s got their guns pointed right at us.

Oddly, it seemed to me, other folks that I talked to had the opposite feeling. They didn’t want to leave the States because “out there” posed the threat. Insulation was the only form of protection they had. Have. Our threat level hasn’t moved down in well over a year. We’re still at an “elevated” threat level of “orange.” Arbitrary colors, arbitrary levels, uneducated citizens. The rest of the world may look on and laugh at pageant responses. I watch and wonder. What are we doing about this? Is it fear that keeps us chained to our cubicles, stuck in our homes and disinterested in keeping track of the reality of what’s happening in the world around us?

Our insulation, naivete, failure to respond quickly to changes in our world and beyond (think: global warming), produced Miss South Carolina. Not the other way around.

Now, what are we gonna do about it?*

*I grew up part of my life in North Carolina. You’ll have to cut me some slack.
Photo credit

I am bitter and alone the afternoon I land at Charles De Gaulle Airport. It is the second week of January. P has just flown back to the States and is between stints in the Peace Corps (having just been evacuated from Turkmenistan and reassigned to Morocco). He flies out the same day as me. I am going to Paris to “cheer up” from what has been an exceptionally dreary English winter. Continue reading →

Let’s take a look at some of the myths about money and travel. Being aware of the myths brings us one train stop closer to getting out of the country. It all starts with examining our beliefs about two (closely related) topics: money and travel. Continue reading →

There’s a downside to every decision we make in life. The choice to be a rootless traveler is no exception. Here are some of the major drawbacks and possible solutions to the biggest I’ve encountered. Continue reading →

I practice yoga during every long-haul flight I take. No amount of lotion, water or sleep can help your body the way movement can while you’re on the plane. I also practice when I’m at the gate. People used to stop and stare even though I tried to make myself as inconspicuous as possible. People don’t stare anymore. You really can do it anywhere now.

Where?

The best place I’ve found on the plane to do a modified yoga routine is either in front of a partition in the center of the plane (there’s more than one on the 777s) or near the bathrooms. I can think of only one time that a flight attendant has asked me to sit down and it was because we hit some turbulence. Normally, they will politely ask about my routine or start talking about their own yoga routines amongst themselves. I rarely see someone practicing back there, so space is available. (One side note: If you have an hour or two to kill in the airport, there is almost always a sanctuary/prayer room where you can practice a full routine. The rooms are often carpeted in case you carry a mat with you.)

Why?

When you’re on a plane for upwards of seven hours, doing ANY movement (even simply standing) is a good idea. I see people fall asleep and remain motionless for the duration (except to eat). That’s cool and all but your circulatory and immune systems (you know, the ones responsible for pushing those germs you’re sitting in for hours out of your body) love it when you circulate the blood and energy inside of you.

What?

Try modified versions of the following:
Mountain pose (stand up straight and lengthen from feet through crown)
Reaching your arms up
Lunges against the partition
Mini-backbends using hands to press of ceiling if you can reach. Don’t hate me if you can’t.
Twists of any sort
(Remember to wash your hands after you touch any surface.)

Who?

You!

Okay, a couple final points. If you’re in first class, you may find flight attendants foisting booze on you most of the trip. As insane or religious as this advice may seen, abstain. You’ll thank me when you land. Your body is going through enough without asking your kidneys and liver to process alcohol.

And while we’re talking about kidneys, do them the favor of getting yourself an aisle seat. Evacuate frequently and don’t worry if people think you have a bladder the size of a peanut. I do. I don’t care what people think.

Finally, I’m not a doctor but if you take melatonin and use this handy sleep calculator from British Airways, you may just figure out a way to beat jet lag.

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Further reading: I wrote this photo-article (okay, it’s totally cheesy) Take-Out Yoga two years ago and it shows some of the stretches I do in-flight (and at my desk). It may give you some ideas about how to create your own personalized routine before you fly.

A quick search of “best places to live abroad” nets you pretty close to nothing. Since my house burned down I’ve known that I’m going to go abroad again, but am having a tough time narrowing it down. I tend to go for the long haul rather than a couple of weeks, so when I buy my ticket, it will be one-way. So, where to go? What are the criteria? Continue reading →

It happens. You get to the airport, or get on the airplane, as I did earlier this week, to find the flight’s been canceled. Each time I see this happen I watch the reactions of folks around me. They vary. Some people get very righteous, like, ‘how could this happen to me.’ Those are the ones that go up to the counter and demand justice. Others accept it with a shrug and slink away to the re-booking stations strategically placed as far away from your gate as possible. There is another option and I’m going to share with you my secret, informed in part by the reading of Imogen Edward’s book, Air Babylon.

I was “stranded” at the Detroit airport earlier this week. I was on my way to Chicago and had I swam across the Lake from my grandparent’s house to Chicago, I may have gotten there quicker than the eight hours I spent in the airport. Or my lungs would have given out.

Don’t Let the “World Club” Title Intimidate You
As frequently as I’ve traveled, I had not sought out the First Class lounge until this week. Something about the “club” aspect of it scared me off. I figured I’m too young, too broke and too scruffy a traveler to qualify to go in there. But something new happened this time. When I got up to the counter to re-book the ground staff offered to move me up to First Class on the plane. I figured if I qualify for First Class on board, I qualify to sit in the lounge for eight hours. I nervously approached the counter. I found at that they have a special and that for $80 I get access to all the Star Alliance lounges worldwide for 90 days. That is me and two of my guests. World-wide. I went upstairs, checked my luggage and took a shower in a private shower room. That was worth $80 and I had free wi-fi access (it’s $10 for a day pass in the airport terminals). The likelihood that I would have blown $80 over the course of eight hours to make myself feel better? Very high. Treat yourself like you’re first class and keep being a nice person. Imagine how your life could change?

Be Nice. Nice, nice, nice
Right, it’s easy to forget this in our daily lives. Don’t forget that when your flight is canceled and everyone around you, more than a hundred people, are in the same boat (read: plane) as you. Someone shoves you on their way to re-book? Be nice. Smile and let them past. And wish them well. They’re stressing and their stress is just as painful as yours. A little nice could save your life. This is most important when you approach ground staff. It could be the difference between you leaving today or tomorrow and them comping your upgrades.

Be Fast. Haul Ass. Get the Goodies Quick
You don’t have to push, but the quicker you get to the counter to re-book a flight, the better. This is where having good, wheeled luggage comes in handy. And carry-on only.* Seats are limited so listen closely to where you have to go to re-book and situate yourself near the front of the line. There will be times that the line is so long you should book over the phone. They’re friendlier over the phone and you’ll sometimes have better luck that way. Try both at once. Stand in line and call up your airline. That takes some pre-planning. Carry a card in your wallet with all of your Frequent Flyer and Airline numbers on it. Easy.

Ask For What You Need
Know your rights and ask for what you need. Your rights vary from flight to flight, but if you have to stay in the airport for hours, get meal vouchers or whatever you need, regardless of how many people are in line behind you. You get one shot, make a list for what you need and stand there until your needs are met. Most ground staffers I meet are happy to accommodate you. To the degree that they can. Get your cake and eat it, too. Yum yum.

*On this particular flight a woman needed her checked bags because she’s breast-feeding and had a booby emergency. Breast pump? I don’t know, find a travel size or something. Carry that thing on, ladies!

So, you’ve made the decision to go global. You’re selling the car, making copies of your important docs and letting friends and family know about your schedule. It’s a wonderful place to be, right?!

Well, yes and no. With the commitment to make a long-haul trip abroad comes the inevitable panic of not knowing what will happen when you get there. As soon as I got to Tokyo I checked my email at an electronics store that (luckily!) happened to be online. I was shocked to see that in more than 3 days, nothing major had changed in the world. Continue reading →