Expatriette. Now Boarding.

We arrive at PVO* at about two in the afternoon. We’re flying in from DEN where it’s 40 degrees in the sun. Puerto Vallarta is closer to a hundred and we’re all wearing jackets. The first thing people start talking about as we exit the aircraft is the pale ashiness of everyone’s legs. They gleam unshaven in the sunshine. Black hairs poke out near ankles, knees and shins. It’s almost too much for me to bear.

That first hour after you de-plane is crucial. Be wakeful for it. It may be the only chance you have to get your bearings. In some countries, if you don’t get comfy quick enough you’ll find yourself a victim of what I like to call Oh No You Didn’t Wear That attacks. This can come as dirty looks, snatched purses or worse. I’ll let you fill in the blanks.

Once, in Madrid’s feisty gay district, a stunning blond (stunning even after backpacking…a rare feat), clearly distraught, out of breath and unable to speak coherently, dashes up the hostel stairs.

“They…..stole…..my…..everything!” she cries. “My passport…both of my bags!”

Hostelers, hostel employees and some Spaniards crowd around as she relates her story. Two men, bigger than her and sweaty, came up together, one on the right and one on the left. She had one small bag strapped over her bosomy front-side and carried her main pack on her back. Both. Gone. In an instant. There’s no happy ending to this story. She could replace her passport, but all of her possessions were gone with a gasp.

Expatriette: A new way to travel… for women.

Until now there have been a few classes of travelers: 1) The ubiquitous and oft-loathed “Backpackers.” 2) The new class of office workers traveling the globe, visiting manufacturing plants in China and Thailand. 3) Vacationers or Group Vacationers, spending a few days in a country, scouring the streets near the resort for “authentic” souvenirs to take home.

Those days, with the advent of Expatriette, are over. Banish the word “budget” from your brain. Re-learn the word “travel” and understand that while it’s not out of your reach, it certainly will take some ingenuity. Even getting through security and to your gate on time these days takes a force of nature. Elevate travel in your mind to the place it deserves. It’s Christmas, and you’re five. You just won the lottery. And the world, if you’re ready for it, is at your well-manicured fingertips.

Expatriette is going to get you looking, feeling and acting your best from the moment you land in Tokyo to the instant you step foot on the dance floor in London. Expatriette defies the Ugly American stereotype by taking you back to when travel was something mavericks did, something glamorous and classy. Think Hemingway. Better yet, think Hepburn.

You’re invited. Whether you’ve traveled from your parents’ home to your college dorm room (barely, you’re thinking) or crossed the Seven Seas, you’re invited. Take up the Expatriette name. Subscribe. Be a part of a revolution in travel. A revolution where backpacker books are banned (except in emergency situations), you have a plan for everything except the unexpected and travel is once again elevated to the status it deserves. Travel is a choice. Where you go, with whom and how you do it says a lot about who you are. The world is watching.

Now, get lost. On purpose.

* All airport names on Expatriette will be referred to by their airport code initials only: PVO=Puerto Vallarta/DEN=Denver/MAD=Madrid. Your a traveler now, get used to it!