The Three Fears of Travel

Have you longed to live abroad for some time? Are those brief forays into travel land - weekend trips, vacations, class trips - simply fueling the fire of travel desire?

You are not alone. I’ve talked with hundreds of people, a lot of them women, who have said they’ve often dreamt of living, working or teaching abroad but lack the money, courage or support to do so.

The top three constraints to living abroad for the long haul for women are, in this order:

1. Fear
2. Fear
3. Fear

Fear about money, fear that your parents might suddenly fall ill (even when they’re in perfect health), fear that your friends will forget you, fear that you might not want to go home.

I wish I could tell you that all of that is unfounded. I started traveling when I was two. My step-father was stationed in Germany and I started school there, before returning to the States to finish high school. I moved to England in my junior year of college (and flew out of America 72 hours after 9.11, just hours after flights began again). Three months after college graduation I moved to Japan. All of those fears vanish in time. And if you examine each fear closely you might start to find that they’re worse in your mind than they ever could be in reality.

Studies have shown that people suffer more from their perceived fears than the actuality of a situation. For instance, imagine the IRS is at your door right now, and they want to come in and see if you paid for all the music you have on your computer. You have to show a CD case for every song on your machine. How’s your breathing right now? Got a visual yet? Our brains are capable of talking us out of great feats.

Friday at Expatriette is about long haul travel, living abroad and making it as an expat and Expatriette. It’s about approaching the fear of travel and transforming it into the fodder of growth. This column will challenge you to get out of your comfort zone and to get into travel mode.

Travel Boundary Practice

This week’s challenge (of which there will be one every week. Get it done today or over the weekend. Journal about it if you wish.)

Go to a local travel store. If you don’t know where one is, look it up online and then go. When the sales assistant approaches you to ask if she can help you with anything, let her know that you’re going to X* (pick a place at least 500 miles from where you are now. Refer to the handy world map graphic pictured above. Okay, where were we?)  Yes, you tell her where you’re going and then make up the details or let her know that you’re in the early planning phase. Ask her if she has any advice. Don’t interrupt. Travel store clerks are veritable fonts of travel knowledge.  And they might even talk you out of a fear or two.  Don’t buy anything.  This is about approaching fear, not accumulation gear you don’t need.

*If you’re terribly averse to stretching the truth, think of it this way. Everything we say we’re “going to do” is a lie until we do it. So, go ahead…saying “I’m going to X” may mean you’re leaving in 2010.